Pain | Cat Beeny

I’ve only seen love destroyed in gales of tourment

and this is why it haunts me.

The black thundering clouds blazed in –

screaming and ripping through the sky-

having no compromise for life

as they came for my family.

The smell of ozone slicked in sudden silence.

I never knew — because I was too young-

it would be the death of them

the death of me.

In streaks of light that danced across the sky like strobe lights,

things violently chanced around me.

My mother and father let themselves be trapped by

a hurricane of hostility they created.

They couldn’t see me anymore,

my bleeding didn’t get their attention –

desperately fighting in their world.

They crashed against each other too fast to care.

I can’t blame them for my pain,

because they intoxicated by debris

as it came hurling toward me.

So I was left with remembering scenes of demise,

blinded by tear-soaked eyes.

Becoming numb to who I was,

because of a numbing pour of words.

And so much time since I’ve spent,

just trying to help them move again.

Trying to keep the storm inside me,

I didn’t want them to bear more hurt.

Yet I’m the one left with scars

trying not to

fall apart.

Cat Beeny